A Loving Philosophy – How to know when you’ve met ‘the one’
On a cold Washington D.C. day in December, nothing is more tempting than a forceful dinner invitation with your significant other’s new found friends. I say ‘forceful’ rather candidly only because my girlfriend does not yet read ‘Creative Refresh’ – consider this an exclusive as you won’t find this on my personal blog.
We were both rather shocked as our host turned out to be more new age than we knew; as she immediately brought tarot cards to the table. Now, I’m not much of a palm reading, crystal ball seeking, tarot card kind of guy – so, you can imagine my immediate ‘I told you so’ glace at my girlfriend as we both instantly knew the night would become very interesting.
What the heck is a Tarot card anyway? There are many different theories on this, which is my creative way of saying that no-one really knows how Tarot cards works! Some believe that God or some higher power delivers a sort of universal knowledge via the cards. Like I said, I’m not much of a believer in these sorts of things – well maybe I am now. It was my tarot card’s message of universal knowledge that is actually the premise for this philosophical insight on love. My card simply stated, “You can’t know fearlessness without knowing fear”.
Was this tarot card an insightful message about love? No, it was most likely my subconscious’ method of rationalizing a pre-existing quandary I was currently trying to work out – my own personal tarot card of self discovery. To my point; the card made me realize that in love, you really can’t know if someone is perfect for you unless you’ve had several experiences of being with those who are wrong for you.
If you date the wrong person long enough, or if you are dating the wrong types of people frequently enough – you start to get a sense for what you can and can’t work with in a person, what you can and can’t live with in a relationship. Simply put, I don’t need to date someone for five years to determine she’s ‘the one’. I believe I need to date the wrong person or types of people for an extended period of time to be able to experience those situations with which I know will deteriorate a relationship I am involved in. So I say; put an end to this mentality that you have to date for several years before you can truly answer the big question, ‘is he/she the one’? Cherish and embrace those relationships that went sour; reflect rather then regret, and learn how to quickly identify ‘the one’.
On New Year’s Eve 2005, I proposed to my girlfriend of six months in Cabo San Lucas’ beautiful Lover’s Beach. I did it without hesitation as I felt confident that she and I could truly build a loving-long-lasting marriage together. Now if only I could find a tarot card that her parents would understand.
- January 30th, 2006
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I love the “I help grow Newsvine” button. Mind if we create a series of those and use them? Nice work!
No, not at all. Glad you liked it.
Here is a link to the image for those interested:
http://marylandmedia.com/images/newsvine_sponsor.gif
Congratulations and good luck to you.
It’s so easy to imagine that because relationship after relationship, or even marriages that seem to fail because of mistakes, differences, and goals or personalities are a sign that no one loves us, or that we are broken somehow, and therefore doomed to a life of repeating our miserable cycles.
I agree and am delighted with your findings that this “reasearch” is simply learning and understanding about ourselves in order to know better what’s absolutely right for us when we do doscover it.
Very insightful, and a welcome point of view.
Thank you.
I appreciate the response! I think love, like most things, ultimately comes down to half-full/half-empty mentality. Make the best of everything (especially your failed relationships) and use what you learn to earn future success.
It’s typical lunch time chatter to complain about work – our projects ands superiors. I have a colleague who can’t complain because his previous employment was such a miserable experience. He sees everything that happens at work as such a positive compared to where he was previously. It is shame he had to go through a bad experience to appreciate his job. However, it’s probably more of a shame that the rest of us can’t share his pleasure for coming into the office everyday because we have been so fortunate in our careers.
Some may say it’s sad that I suggest it takes misfortune to find fortune – but I say, I feel bad for those who don’t really appreciate what they have right in front of them because they don’t know any different.
I am very much in agreement with you on the topic of
“Some may say it’s sad that I suggest it takes misfortune to find fortune – but I say, I feel bad for those who don’t really appreciate what they have right in front of them because they don’t know any different. “
I for one have been in bad situations and bad relationships that I can now, as you state, see the difference and instantly appreciate the better things in life. But yes it is very sad and aggravating to see many people who take so many things for granted.
My congrats and best wishes on you engagement and to a fruitful life ahead :)
Thank You!
Best of luck to you as well!